Week 43

Sorry I'm a day late in posting. I've been swamped with freelance work and having to do some late nights to meet deadlines. Starting to feel like I'm in college again! Fortunately, Hayden has been sleeping GREAT! I almost hate to say anything for fear of jinxing it, but he's been sleeping from about 7:30pm to 7:30 am STRAIGHT almost every night for the past 2 weeks. Only maybe 2 nights in the past 2 weeks he woke up around 3:30am for a quick nursing and as usual went straight back to sleep.

I actually think Daylight Savings Time kind of threw him off a little and it helped him to have an "earlier" bedtime and naps a little later. He's had some great napping patterns too: two good 1.5-2 hour naps every day. He's still struggling a bit to fall asleep, since all he wants to do is stand up (and jump on the squeaky spot) in his crib. But sometimes after about 15 minutes of jumping and babbling (or his new favorite - high-pitched screeching, an old return from his pterodactyl days!) I go back in his room, make no eye-contact, lay him back down, and walk back out (a tip from Supernanny!). Then he finally falls asleep and he takes a good nap. I guess all that jumping wears him out! Sometimes I don't need to go back in his room and he falls asleep on his own.

He's also been doing great with babysitters. No sign of separation anxiety or stranger anxiety. Phil's mom has been helping me out once week so I can get a good chunk of concentrated design work done. Hayden really loves his Grandma Doris and is always an angel for her.


He had a bit of a rough day at church on Sunday because he hadn't had his morning nap yet and just got way over-tired. It has been tough to make it to church at all. It was only his 2nd time in the nursery without one of us. Phil was scheduled on set-up crew and both of us were scheduled for Preschool teaching so we had no choice, but it was really hard on Hayden and the workers in the nursery. They had to come get me because he was crying so hard and wouldn't take his bottle and nothing would calm him down. He was SO TIRED. Phil ended up bringing him into our preschool class and holding him in his lap the whole time. He calmed down and thankfully took a long nap once we got home (as did Phil and I). I don't know how often I want to repeat that ordeal! I'm frustrated with the kids' conditions at our church as it is. Since our church meets in an elementary school, we have to set up and tear down church every week. We have the preschool kids at one end of a hallway and the babies in a little alcove area halfway down the hall. Not ideal. That's partly why I don't make more of an effort to go to church with Hayden too. I know I'm just being an over-protective first-time mom, but some of the conditions worry me. I'm just not comfortable with Hayden in the nursery, let alone that it totally messes up his naps and the entire day!

We got all our safety gates up on the stairs. Here is a video of why it was such an urgent matter:

Yup, that's right! Hayden can climb stairs! He can go up to the halfway landing in about 1 minute with no help. Of course I'm right behind him when he's doing this, because he has no concept of going DOWN the stairs safely, so the gates are essential.

He's standing SO WELL. Sometimes he even lets go of what he's holding onto for a split second.



He really loves books. He has learned to turn the pages one by one and sometimes points at things on the page and I say what they are. We read 2-3 books before every nap and about 5 other books throughout the day. He really loves a book called "If You Were My Baby" from Gramma Susan. It is not a board book so I was worried about him tearing the pages, but he is very gentle with it and listens to each page carefully.


Changing his diaper has become like wrestling an alligator. He absolutely HATES lying flat on his back now. Also, he has discovered his private parts so not only am I trying to wrestle him down, but also trying to keep his hands from touching any poop!

His favorite thing is looking out the window. He loves to watch the cars and we wave goodbye to Phil when he leaves for work in the morning.

Week 42

Hayden is officially CRAWLING! Occasionally he still reverts back to the "commando-style" but for the most part, he is on 2 hands and 2 knees, all over the house. All he wants to do is crawl and stand. It is incredible to see the progress he has made in the last week. I think that's largely due to him FINALLY feeling better! YAY! And he slept for 12 hours straight both last night and the night before. I guess all this mobility is wearing him out!

This week on Wednesday night, Phil and I attended a lecture at Seattle's Town Hall by Dr. John Gottman on "Raising and Emotionally Intelligent Child". Wow. It was a fantastic lecture and very timely since teaching children about their emotions can begin as early as Hayden's age now.

Dr. Gottman described 2 parenting styles: "Emotion-Dismissing Parents" and "Emotion-Coaching Parents". The Emotion-Dismissing Parents make up about 2/3 of parents in his research group. They don't like negative emotions such as sadness, anger, and fear. They see them as "toxins" they need to protect their child from, and prefer their child to be cheerful. Their response is to help their child "snap out of it" by distracting them, playing down the emotion, and sometimes even punish them. They see negative emotions as failures, and become impatient with a sad or angry child. While their intentions seem good, this actually teaches children that their feelings are bad, not to trust their feelings, that they are weird, alone, and that they can't talk to their parents.

Emotion-Coaching Parents on the other hand, see negative emotions as a healthy part of development, an opportunity for discussion, growth, and empathy. These kids are better at self-soothing, get along better with other peers and adults/teachers, and even their reading & math scores are higher.

According to Dr. Gottman, there are 5 steps to Emotion Coaching:
1) Noticing the emotion
2) Recognizing as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
3) Listening and empathizing, validate their feelings
4) Providing verbal labels for the emotion
5) Setting limits, help the child problem-solve, communicate values and appropriate behaviors

I have been devouring his book and realize my parenting instincts will be challenged to think and respond in this way. Even today at the park, Hayden was getting cranky and Phil and I responded like the "emotion-dismissing parent" - tickling him, offering him Cheerios, laughing at him for being so 'cute' when he cries. I realize we can't really put all these steps into practice with a 9-month old baby, but it is very interesting to be thinking about all these ideas now.

Week 41

Grandma Judi, Grandpa Mark, and Aunt Ali came out from Ann Arbor, MI for a visit for the first half of this week. Ali (my "little" sister - who is now taller than me) was out touring some Universities. She's a Junior in High School this year so she'll need to start applying to colleges next year. Wow! I just can't believe how time flies! She liked Seattle University best, followed closely by UW. She's also planning on visiting UCLA, Berkley, and Stanford later this month and some others too, I think. Right now, she's thinking of majoring in pre-med and has the grades and SAT scores to pretty much choose where she wants to go. I'm so proud of her!

Auntie Ali

Grandma Judi

Grandpa Mark

We had a nice visit, despite Hayden still having a horrible cold. They stayed with us, and since our former guest bedroom is now Hayden's room, Phil and I slept on an air mattress on the floor of Hayden's room while my parents took our bedroom and my sister took the couch in the living room. It wouldn't have been too bad, except everytime Hayden would cough, it would wake me up. Almost every night at some point he would cough so hard and gag on the mucous it would make him throw up all over himself and in his crib. So I'd bring him into bed on the air mattress with us, which left me sleeping with one eye open because air mattresses aren't very safe for babies to sleep on. Needless to say, Hayden and I weren't at our best for the visit with the family. :(

Now I've caught the cold too and am miserable. I would really love to have a good stretch of healthy days coming up here sometime soon. We are way overdue!

Hayden's greatest progress this week has been in pulling himself up on the furniture and standing. In fact, that is practically all he wants to do. It's making nap-time more difficult because all he wants to do is stand up in his crib (and chew on the crib rail!) He can also move from one piece of furniture to the next if they are close enough. We are scrambling to babyproof EVERYTHING.


He loves chewing on whatever furniture he can -- his crib, our new ottoman, and even the window sill (drywall and all - yuck!). Actually, he just loves chewing on everything. With 8 teeth already, I wonder when this teething phase will ever decrease?

Week 40

Hayden turned 9 months old on February 20th. It's weird to think that he is now older than the duration of my pregnancy (40 weeks). How is it that time has been on fast forward?!

Here are his official 9-month stats:

Weight: 21 lbs, 14 oz. (75th percentile - down from 95th last time, probably due to 3 weeks of diarrhea)
Height: 31" (97th percentile)
Head Circumference: 18 3/4" (95th percentile)

Teeth: 8
Hair Color: Reddish Blonde? - the verdict is still out...
Eye Color: Bluish-Gray (Just like Mommy!)

Likes: Books, balls, Cheerios, bananas, music: especially "Baby Beluga", "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" and "Five Green and Speckled Frogs", cell phones, cameras, remote controls, bathtime, his stuffed doggie, ceiling fans, jumping, swinging at the park, peek-a-boo, brushing his teeth, knocking over block towers, tearing paper, looking out the window - especially waving to Daddy in the window when he leaves for work in the morning and comes home from work in the evening, putting everything into his mouth except for teething rings.

Dislikes: Washing up after eating, getting dressed (shirts over his head), Mommy picking his nose.

Abilities: Commando crawling, pulling up to standing position on furniture, standing while holding on to furniture, going from laying/crawling to sitting position and vice versa, self-feeding Cheerios, drinking from sippy-cup unassisted, bringing spoon of food to mouth, clapping, waving Bye-Bye, saying "Ba-Ba-Ba" and "Ma-Ma-Ma".

Sleep Habits (approximately): Bedtime at 7pm, Wake up at 3am, 6:15am, and 7:30am. Two Naps from about 9:30 - 11am and 1:30pm - 3:30pm

Eating (approximately): Nursing at 3am, 6:15am, breakfast (solid foods) at 8:30am, nursing at 9:15am, 12:15pm, 3:30pm, dinner (solid foods) at 5pm, Bedtime bottle at 6:45pm.


On Feb 19th, Phil and I celebrated our 12 year anniversary of our first date. We went snowboarding at Snoqualmie Pass while Grandma Doris watched Hayden. We had a lot of fun on a beautiful clear day! It was the longest I've left Hayden, but I tried not to worry about him too much. He of course did great! Grandma had fun taking him to the park.


On Wednesday our PEPS group went swimming. It was Hayden's first time in a pool and he really seemed to like it. He was smiling, kicking, and splashing! Yay! I can't wait for the summer!





Hayden's diarrhea finally ceased on Tuesday and we had about 4 non-sick days until Hayden started getting another nasty cough. This one is not very frequent, but sounds awful. Especially when he wakes up in the night. Lots of mucous! Yuck! Poor guy.

Week 39

This week went by too fast. I can't even remember what we did, really. On Valentine's Day, Hayden and I surprised Phil at his office with a balloon, a heart-shaped photo valentine, and a Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake. This is our Valentine card:


Phil brought the balloon home and it was Hayden's favorite thing all night!


On Friday night, my Aunt Teri and her 12-year-old daughter Nicole babysat Hayden so Phil and I could go on our Valentine's Date.


(I can't believe I can fit into this dress again!)
It was really nice to get out and Hayden did really well for them. The bedtime routine works really well and I have it all typed up so anyone can do it. Which is a good thing, because Hayden will need a babysitter while Phil and I attend 2 lectures by world-renowned marriage and family expert Dr. John Gottman:

“Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child”
Wednesday March 5, 2008 – 7-9pm (my sister Nicki volunteered already for this one)

“Making Marriage Work”
Tuesday May 20, 2008 – 7-9 pm

Check it out: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/24602

That 2nd one is actually on Hayden's 1st birthday, but we'll probably do his party on the 18th anyway since the 20th is a Tuesday. And besides, I think strengthening our marraige is one of the best gifts we can give our child!

On Saturday, Phil attended a special Stroller Strides for Couples Valentine's Event with me and Hayden, and he got to see first-hand what a workout it is! He was even sore right along with me the next day! It seriously is like Boot Camp!

And speaking of Boot Camp, here is video of Hayden's latest "crawling" attempt... Commando style! My dad described it: "He looks like a wounded soldier crawling to safety, then like an alien looking into the camera!!!"


Not very graceful, but it does the job.

Still dealing with diarrhea. It's not as bad, but still having 3-5 watery, green diapers per day. :(

Week 38

And I thought last week was bad. Wow. Well, now on top of the diarrhea, which he still has, he also has this horrible mucous-filled cough and stuffy nose. The coughing is really terrible at night and he gags on the mucous and then even has vomited a few times from it. On Tuesday night he vomited twice, the 2nd time all in my hair and down my back at 1 am. Welcome to the joys of parenting. Funny thing, it didn't bother me as much as that kind of thing would have bothered the child-less me. I was so worried about Hayden's health and so sad that he was feeling so rotten, that I didn't even care. Phil helped clean everything up and Hayden spent the rest of the night in our bed, either coughing or pooping every hour or so.

It has crossed my mind this week how horrifying and exhausting it must be for parents who care for a chronically or terminally ill child. I just can't imagine. It makes me feel so terrible to see Hayden suffering just these past couple weeks. And just thinking about those families helps put things into perspective for me when I start feeling worn out over caring for a sick child. Speaking of which, the One Big Kiss for Kids fundraising event for Children's Hospital is happening soon. Phil and I have been part of the KISS for Kids Club for about 5 years. I encourage all Seattle area parents out there to think about it: https://secure.seattlechildrens.org/radiothondonation.asp?referrer=KISS Children's Hospital is amazing, though I pray we never have any first-hand experiences.

I took him to our pediatrician on Thursday and she said it's unfortunately just one of those 15 or so viruses with these symptoms, and there is nothing we can do except keep him hydrated and as well-rested as possible. He had the Rotavirus vaccine, which is the most common cause of serious diarrhea in infants, so at least we can rule that one out. We are giving him Pedialyte although he doesn't seem to like the taste. He is down to 21.5 lbs (from a little over 22) so dehydration is a bit of an issue, but he is still having plenty of normal wet diapers, wet mouth, and no decrease in activity.

In fact, Hayden is SO CLOSE to crawling. I know I keep saying that, and I am getting a bit anxious about when he will finally just do it. He is crawling backwards easily, and "commando-style" crawls forward (with his belly still on the ground, pulling with his right arm and pushing with his knees and toes). I have to admit, I am starting to look at the other babies around Hayden's age who are already crawling and find myself comparing. I know it's not a competition. I know he'll eventually crawl. I think the hardest part is that he has seemed on the verge for a couple months now, and the "any day now" mental state is getting old. And when people ask, "Is he crawling yet?" and I have to say "Not yet." I feel like somehow I am failing.

At least I'm not like the jerk I met at the new coffee shop that just opened across the street the other day. Hayden and I were checking the place out, and of course the baristas were all cooing at Hayden and admiring his dimples, when this construction worker guy says, "Sure he's cute now, but you're going to hate him when he's two." I was like, "I don't think I could ever HATE my son." And he torted back something like, "Well I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old, and trust me, you'll HATE them when they're two." Nice. Someone please call CPS. Or at least Supernanny!

We did have a few rays of sunshine in this gloomy week. Grandma Judi sent Hayden a really awesome 4-in-1 Car Toy that Hayden really loves.



He is so captivated by buttons. Always studying them. He loves the remote and my cell phone too. I've also taught him how to flip the light switches on and off, so now when we enter and leave a room, he knows that's his job!

The other excellent perk this week is that we did our taxes and are getting a really nice fat return. Apparently Phil didn't fill out the W-4 form correctly after we had Hayden and has been over-paying taxes, plus with the child-tax credit and mortgage interest and all that stuff, we are getting back a lot more than expected. And I had even been setting aside about a third of my freelance income, knowing that I'd need to pay taxes on that, and even with that in consideration we are getting a lot back, so that is extra money in savings too. What a relief! Things were honestly starting to feel really tight.

Week 37

Holy moly, what a poopy week! Literally! Hayden's had diarrhea all week, with about 8-10 poopy, messy diapers every day. The good news is that he never seemed dehydrated (still having wet diapers, still drooling all over, still pretty cheerful and active, and no fever). So basically, just changing poopy diapers every couple hours and trying to minimize the diaper rash it has been causing. And of course he isn't sleeping as well (I knew I was going to jinx it when I said that last week!) and changing poopy diapers in the middle of the night doesn't help. I have no idea what caused it, but he's been on his version of the BRATY diet (bananas, rice cereal, apple sauce -- but not toast or yogurt yet) and breastmilk all week, so I hope that helps clear it up.

I'm not sure if it's related to the diarrhea, but my milk supply seemed to drop this week. I only have a couple back-up bags of frozen milk in the freezer, so when I could only pump a couple ounces, as opposed to the 7-8 I can normally pump, I got pretty worried. For the past couple days, I have been trying to pump at least 3 times a day, rather than just the one at night. This seems to be helping. I could also start taking fenugreek again, since I noticed that helped so much back when Hayden was a newborn and I was having problems getting my milk to come in. I know it's common for the milk supply to decrease when the baby starts eating more solid foods, and this a normal, healthy weaning process. But I hate feeling like I might not have enough milk to meet Hayden's needs, especially when it is so critical that he stays hydrated!

How is it already February?! But at the same time, I can't wait for Spring! Hayden and I are already missing San Diego. The park is just too cold right now. :(